tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84724322011-04-21T16:45:22.562-07:00Random thoughts and other things I find humorous or interesting. It may be mine or someone else's, but I'll always let you know where it came from.Alexander's Republichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10326455216369912483noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8472432.post-28874894076468696452006-12-27T14:35:00.000-08:002006-12-27T14:41:44.827-08:00From CBS's How I Met Your Mother<br /><br />I've never been sick a day in my life. How is that, you ask, given my considerably communicable extracurricular activities?<br />Answer: Awesomeness.<br /><br />I combat the cold and flu season by injecting heavy doses of Awesome into my bloodstream. Special power. NASA's run tests. Passed them all. Flying colors.<br /><br />Of course, not everyone shares my ability to fight infection through superior genetics, which is why I'm offering a few hints that can help you safely and naturally increase your BAC (Blood Awesome Count) as you encounter the seasonal symptoms.<br /><br />Sore Throat:<br />Hot tea and a lozenge? That's JV. Slip on a 100 percent Italian silk tie instead. The pain is just your throat demanding an accessory.<br /><br />Fever:<br />You may be tempted to put on a comfy pair of sweats and go to bed. DO NOT DO THIS. First, no one reading this should own such a garment. Second, sweats imply acceptance. You fight fire with fire: Suit Up!<br /><br />Aches:<br />Men don't ache.<br /><br />Chills:<br />Studies have shown the best way to fight cold is with body heat. If you've even glanced at this blog before, you're well enough equipped to target and acquire a choice cutlet to warm you up. Heh. "Well equipped."<br /><br />Cough:<br />A cough is the sound of your lungs high-fiving. They're celebrating <em>your</em> awesomeness. Join in! Light a Cuban, pour a cocktail, and imagine a world without children.<br /><br />Alone, or in combination, these remedies far surpass the prescriptions of yesteryear. Remember, "over the counter" is just something they left out of the Kama Sutra.<br /><br />Feel free to send me your own cold remedies; sometimes laughter is the best medicine. <a href="mailto:barneystinson@yahoo.com">barneystinson@yahoo.com</a><br /><br />Now if you'll excuse me, Dr. Stinson has several lucky patients awaiting their physicals.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8472432-2887489407646869645?l=alexandersrepublic.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Alexander's Republichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10326455216369912483noreply@blogger.com5